Krakowska Szkoła Jazzu i Muzyki Rozrywkowej

canjorr

Znalezione głęboko w internecie, wybaczcie, że nie przetranslatnięte, ale godzina już nie ta. Myślę, że większość ogarnie nawet pa anglijskamu.

PENALTIES FOR BASS INFRACTIONS:

NAME OF OFFENDER (Bass Player)_______________________
INFRACTION DATE___________________________
MUSICAL OFFENSES
Playing loudly during warm up $10
Sound-checking amp with funk slapping $25
Loud cursing after mistake $10
Playing high and fast after mistake $20
Practicing 2-handed tapping between tunes $20
Asking for "E" tuning note $25
Playing E anyway when horns tune to Bb $50
Playing written-out walking line $50
Failure to play written walking line $75
Writing note names over ledger-line notes $50
Writing beat numbers under dotted figures $50
Playing eighth notes $5 each
Playing sixteenth notes $10 each
Playing above 1st octave immediate dismissal
Dragging fast tempo $75
Dragging ballad tempo $100
Blacking out during ballad $200
Ignoring drummer's tempo $100
Following drummer's tempo $250
Asking to borrow Real Book for All Of Me $1000
UPRIGHT PLAYERS
Showing up before first downbeat $25
Playing audibly $25
Faking changes $25
Slapping $150
Missing tutti lick, then mentioning vintage of bass $25
Excessive sweating $25
Pedal point double-stops during horn solo $50
Asking leader for a solo $30
Accepting solo when offered $50
Taking second chorus $100
Playing solo arco $400
Pretending to check tuning after playing out of tune $100
Playing "A Train" ending on every tune $200
Playing extended "A Train" ending on every tune $500
ELECTRIC PLAYERS
Checking hair between tunes $15
Experimenting with odd meters $25
Missing root at end of blistering fill $25
Playing with a pick $50
Tuning during ballad $30
Playing Jaco groove on samba $75
Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad $150
Attempting last word on final chord $50
Achieving last word on final chord $100
Long gliss down to final note $200
EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS - ELECTRIC
Forgetting strap $10
Changing strings after every set $15
Using electric tuner $15
Setting up mic "just in case" $75
Forgetting to turn amp on $40
Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in 1 trip $50
Asking horn player for help moving amp $25
Bringing custom-made bass $100 per string above 4
Bringing more than 1 bass $100 per extra bass
Skull decals on bass $150
Bringing fretless bass $500
CRIMINAL BAD TASTE
Telling bone player about all the gigs you get $10
Asking bone player about their day gig $10
Sitting behind drums on break $10
Quoting "Birdland" $25
Practicing scales during break $25
Practicing scales during drum solo $50
Practicing $150
Beginning a sentence with "When I was a guitar player..." $50
Casually mentioning to Musical Director of cheap theater that you are "into sequencing" $100
BASIC STUPIDITY
Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt $10
Wearing new Whitesnake tour shirt $20
Asking when the rock set starts $20
Continually asking "where are we?" $25
Continually shouting "Yeah!" $25
Asking bone player where "1" is $50
Taking cell phone call during 4's $100

BTW, musze w końcu do was wpaść na jakiś jam, coś wyhammondzić

Dominik

Hehe. Śmieszne ale prawdziwe!

Pietruszka Mietowa

No coz, przeżucam sie na tamburyn.

stassdd

Crusher

Pietruszka Mietowa

Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad $150 [[[;